I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
