butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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