i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
