To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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