Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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