When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
