I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
