If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
