You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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