Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
