I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
