Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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