I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
tell me about the fingering
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