I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
