I cut my penus on the lid.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also, beer. Big fan.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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