Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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