whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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