plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
