oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
