Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
