Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
