The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
