Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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