Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
