I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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