i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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