Yo dont text me then not text me
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
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