Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
