I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i've created a new STD.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
