Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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