Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
