And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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