He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Alive.
So much puke
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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