More tranny stories later!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
