Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
