then he tried to convert me to islam
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
