If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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