Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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