But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize