she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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