why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
