If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
