oh god the rape fog is back!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
