if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
