Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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