She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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