That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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