Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
