everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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