I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
