I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
