Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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