His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
