This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
